Readers, give us your feedback!
- In your opinion, what is wrong with the way Meatloaf is branded and what would improve its image?
- Do you make a meatloaf that people love? If so, how do you make it? Send us pictures or recipes.
- As food for thought, here is an open letter to American Meatloaf before we look for branding inspirations around the world.
Dear American Meatloaf,
I know you’re sick of living your life in the shadow of your glory hog sibling, Hamburger. You and Burger are made of the same stuff, but he gets all the love and you’re treated like slop. You look in the mirror and probably see the food kingdom’s version of a washed-up B list celebrity seeking the limelight after too much time off, too much plastic surgery, and an orange fake tan. Well, don’t fret because this is not you.
You, my friend, are the food kingdom’s Madonna! You’re talented, you’re well rounded, and you’ve got the goods to reinvent yourself every decade and stay at the top of the food charts until your ground beef runs dry. Listen though; you don’t need Yoga, Botox, and a personal trainer to keep you fabulous. You need a personal branding agent. Branding is to blame and branding is why Burger gets the love and you get the shaft. That’s why I’m reaching out to you. I can be your personal branding agent. If you stick with me, I’ll take you places.
Want proof? I’ve been around the block with foods like you before. Remember how in the 1980s and 90s, many thought Spinach and Kale were “gross” and Wheat Grass was unheard of? Now, they’re the main ingredients in those green smoothies all the celebs carry around like fashion accessories while they stroll around in their $300 Yoga pants and smile for the Paparazzi. They’re cool, hip, and sophisticated foods now. Why the rise from zero to hero? Spinach, Kale, and Wheat Grass were my clients; that’s why! I turned them around. Those three were just a bunch of broke jokers when I got a hold of them and not a single cook wanted them. Now they’re premium top shelf items at Whole Foods and Oprah can’t even get an interview with them.
I can do that for you! What I’m proposing is a reinvention. I’m talking about something a little more than changing your garnish and renaming yourself The Meal Formerly Known as Meatloaf. We’ll keep your basics the same, but make you more exciting. Also, I know talent when I see it and I think you have what it takes to go international. We’ll need to create a brand that will work overseas and in the U.S. When you’re on tour, we’ll need to tweak your image based on what different audiences around the world want.
So, let’s talk rebranding. For your U.S. rebranding, you’ll need to hide out for a while…just enough time for the public to forget the old you while we create the new you. I recommend using the large sunglasses, a wig, a hat, and the usual ensemble that people in “the biz” use to disguise themselves after they’ve been arrested or had personal problems. In terms of your overseas rebranding, you will receive a list of countries. Study up and prepare to tweak your image for fans in each country.
Of course, you could take this project on by yourself and become just another starving food trying to make it in the big bad city, but I don’t recommend it. I have all of the connections needed to bring you to the top. The last several meat foods who refused my services and tried to rebrand themselves without an agent failed miserably. They ended up in places with high concentrations of passionate animal rights activists and vegans…basically, some ended up in hippy communes and others ended up in LA. These are not fun places to be a hunk of meat. These poor do-it-yourselfers were never eaten and left to rot.
It’s a dog eat dog world out there, kid, and the only one who will look out for you is you…and me, of course….once you sign the contract and pay me my initial consulting fee. Invest in your future and give me a call. I’ll send you that list of countries.
Chiara I. Tedone
President and CEO
Independent Food Rebranding Agency
About the Author
Chiara is Digital Content Creator and Blog Manager for AMA Tampa Bay. She is Co-founder and Director of Winning the Fight, a non-profit organization specializing in neurodegenerative disease research. Chiara is also a freelance digital marketer for small businesses and is finishing up her MBA with a specialty in marketing from the University of South Florida. Prior to moving to Florida, Chiara lived in Washington, DC. She earned her BA in International Studies from American University’s School of International Services in 2007 and worked for Booz Allen Hamilton and the Department of Defense thereafter. Her hobbies include obstacle racing, running, swimming, kayaking, SCUBA diving, and opera/classical singing. She also loves country music and chocolate!
Email: Chiara at [email protected]
Social Media: LinkedIn